• Communication,  personal,  relationships

    “Relationships are Hard Work”

    “Relationships are hard work.” How many times would you say you’ve heard that phrase in your life? People say it to each other all the time; over coffee, over cocktails, in the middle of long, exasperated venting sessions and at the end of despairing exclamations. I’ve said it, and I’ve heard it, and every time there’s a nod of understanding and agreement, because it’s just vague enough to sound accurate. Recently though, I’ve come to realise that the phrase isn’t specific enough to be true. It’s a bit like when people say, “Well, sure we fight, but all couples fight.” I always nod. They both sound pretty straightforward, but the…

  • personal

    Just People

    When you’re a child, everything is very black or white. You’re well-behaved, or you’re bold. You’re bad, or you’re good. The world is arranged into two halves and, with good parenting, you are steered towards the positive. “Yucky” things are smacked out of your hand, and the explanations of the world leave no room for nuance. You’re too young to understand the intricacies and complications of a lifetime. You’re told that bad people are bad, and that’s it. Nobody explains why, or how, or tempers it by telling you that these bad people have good qualities too. Conversely, good people are held up as paragons and then, as you grow,…

  • getting-physical-when-do-i-get-the-manual
    personal,  Thoughts on...

    So, Touching

    I am a tactile creature. Not so much with people, but with things. I like to touch soft fabrics, and run my fingers through deep pile carpet. I like to trace the grain on solid wood, and press my hands against granite stone so hard the imprint is left on my palms. I love searching the seabed, trying to find beaded seashells and tide-smoothed driftwood and coarse-edged coral. I like the slippery coolness of glass, the feel of a salty breeze on my skin, the springy tension of needles on a pine cone. My fingertips explore the world around me. it’s not always enough for me to just look at…

  • Thoughts on...,  Uncategorized

    Wedding Daze

    I love a good wedding, and I was at a great wedding on Saturday. The bride, my cousin – who is stunning on a bad day – looked so beautiful she actually glowed. I’ve read about people “glowing” before and always thought it was hyperbole, but I can’t think of any other word to describe her when the fact is that she legitimately had a honey aura going on. Although we’re cousins, we look nothing alike. She is the blue-eyed, rosy-cheeked, high-cheekboned, glamorous blonde to my hazel-eyed, dressed-in-the-dark, sallow-skinned brunette. As teenagers we would lie side by side on her bed, talking about boys and secrets and friends and life.…

  • so that happened

    What Not To Do: Facebook Messenger Edition

    Over the weekend, after reading a message that had just come through on my phone, I let out a small huff. It was the kind of huff that acts as a tiny, audible exclamation point; the kind that tells you something has been noted that doesn’t deserve the energy or attention of actual words. Across the table from me, my friend raised an questioning eyebrow, and I turned my phone so she could see the screen. “Why does my ex-boyfriend always show up as active on Facebook messenger?” She leaned forward to examine my ex-boyfriend’s smiling face and shrugged. “Hmmm. Are you still friends with him on Facebook?” “No!” She…

  • Life Skills Unlocked

    Life Skills Unlocked: Proper Etiquette

    Something happened last weekend that blew my mind: I realised that I have been eating incorrectly my entire life. But Quinn, I hear you say, if you have been managing to successfully manoeuvre food from your plate to your mouth for the past three decades, how can you possibly say you have been eating incorrectly? Well I’m glad you asked. When I was a small child, mealtimes were incredibly stressful affairs. There were a few reasons for this – including the fact that I went on a self-imposed hunger-strike for about two years at the age of six for reasons unknown – but one of the main reasons was that…

  • Thoughts on...

    Thoughts On… The Ring Thing

    So it turns out that when you get engaged, you wear a ring. Who knew, right?* It’s a whole thing. There’s the proposal, and all the things that come with that (champagne… lots of champagne), and then there’s the ring. Usually a shiny ring. Usually a shiny ring with a sparkly rock perched on top so that you can blind your enemies with some carefully-angled light reflection. While I was aware of all of this in a vague, theoretical sense, I hadn’t really thought about it. Like… ever. Of course I’ve been around other engaged people, and I’m not completely socially inept, so I have taken part in the customary, “Congratulations! Oooh your…

  • getting-engaged-wise-men-say-only-fools-rush-in-love
    so that happened

    Wise Men Say…

    There is one teeny, tiny thing I neglected to mention in all of my rambling about Mexico. I got engaged. We got engaged! There was an engagement? Basically, what I’m saying is that there was a very happily accepted proposal, and I know that makes it sound a little like a business deal, but in actual fact it was both completely unexpected and eerily perfect, and not at all like a business deal. More like a movie. Or a telenovela. I don’t talk about Scrubs much here because Scrubs is quite a private person, but we have been together for… a while. A long while. About eight years now. That…

  • so that happened

    Falling Half in Love with Strangers

    I love being able to express myself in writing. It feels more accurate somehow than speaking words. Talking for me can sometimes feel like playing tennis with a colander; I mean, it’s possible, I can do it, but it’s not ideal. The ball goes over the net, but just about. It goes where I want it to go… more or less. I can’t be sure it’ll hit it’s mark, but I can hope. Later, I’ll go home and think about how I could have done it some other, better way. Writing is different. Writing is a tennis racket. When I’m writing, I have the time to think about what I’m trying…

  • birthday,  Thoughts on...

    Thoughts On… Friendship

    “Understand that friends come and go, But a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, For as the older you get, the more you need the people You knew when you were young.”   My best friend turned thirty yesterday. She’s become something of a human pinball over the past decade, bouncing from London to Dublin to South America and back again. Her globetrotting has taken her to incredible places, where she’s done unforgettable things, and we’ve kept in touch through the wonder of the internet. We’ve known each other since we were very small, and after all these years all I…