So it’s been just over a month since Oscar and Maya moved in. We’ve got to know each other over the course of that time, and we now have a fairly decent communication system in place which consists of them scratching at the fridge (food please), them scratching at the door (attention please) and them scratching at the window (FREE USSSS!). As brother and sister, I have to say their personalities balance each other out quite well.
For example, Oscar enjoys waking me up with vigorous face licking (which is both quite painful and also the most exfoliating experience I have ever had), but likes his own space when he goes for a nap. Maya, on the other hand, prefers to act as a sneak-attack alarm clock in the morning, but prefers to snooze while snuggling with humans.
Oscar lives in a perpetual state of wide-eyed innocence, finds many things confusing, and often acts in ways that are not only unpredictable but also completely illogical. Maya is sensible and sharp as a tack; her every action is both deliberate and based on common sense, so her behaviour is generally predictable.
Oscar is a picky eater with intolerant tastebuds and a delicate stomach.
Maya eats like she’s been marooned at sea without food or drink for nine days.
Together, they rule the apartment in the form of a boisterous but benign dual dictatorship. They may only have been here a month, but they are learning at a rapid pace. Here are some of the things they’ve learned in one short month:
Some things cannot be explained
Certain things are a mystery and will always remain that way. For example, the toilet cistern. When the human flushes the toilet, where does the water go? What is that gurgling noise? Inquiring minds (Oscar’s) want to know.
Obviously the hoover should be avoided at all costs, but there are other objects in the house that look innocuous but later turn out to be possessed by demon energy. The hairdryer is one such object. Trust nothing until you have seen it come to life and heard whether or not it roars with the voices of ten thousand angry beasts.
Rules are made to be if not broken then at least challenged
The human says a lot of things. Sometimes the human says things like “GET DOWN OFF THE TABLE!” and “STOP CLIMBING THE CHAIRS!” Remember this is ‘your life, live it however you wanna,’ as Eminem once said. You do you. If that means practicing your bouldering on the dining room chairs, go for it.
All objects have special feline functions
The human thinks it is a cardboard box, but actually it is a battlestation. The human thinks it is a curtain but in fact it is an invisibility cloak. The human thinks it is a paper bag, but it is really a costume for our upcoming theatrical production of CATS The Musical.
So here we are, a month in and we’re all learning lessons!
They’re starting to really trust me, and coincidentally we’re coming right up to the time when I need to take them to the vet to be neutered and spayed, so I’m sure all that trust will need rebuilding in pretty short order after it is blown to smithereens by the veterinary surgeon’s scalpel…
But for now, it’s good.