panic,  personal,  Thoughts on...

Thoughts On… Adulting Struggles

It is unseasonably warm in Ireland at the moment. In a freak occurence, the sun is actually visible, the clouds are wispy and barely-there, and the temperature has crept up to Irish-sunburn levels (which isn’t very high, but it’s high enough for people to wander the streets in singlets, puffing and red-faced, panting about how it’s “FAR too hot!”).

I am currently sitting at my table, with a cup of tea beside me to wash down my many supplements*, thinking of the many, many things on my To Do List. The thoughts of all these things that need to be done have come together to form a thick, grey, thundercloud of tasks, and every so often it sends forks of lightning formed from pure unadulterated panic down my spine.

This is Not Good.

I know myself well enough to know that I need to get a handle on this situation. I feel overwhelmed, but I know that all the items on my endlessly long To Do List are doable; it’s only when thinking of all of them, together and at the same time, that I start to sweat and wonder whether it might be a good idea to change my name to Carmen Sandiego and move to Raja Ampat to sell beaded bracelets on the side of the road.

I do love making beaded bracelets…

Adulting is hard sometimes. I have yet to master the life skill of organisation. I rarely make lists, and even when I do make lists I inevitably lose them, which usually leaves me worse off than I was before. I often lose track of time because I’m so focused on a single thing that I forget 1.) to eat, 2.) that time is passing and 3.) there are in fact other things that require my attention. The fact that this blog is still alive and updated is a minor miracle considering how abysmal my scheduling skills can be.

And yet…

I love the feeling of being productive. I love the days when I smash through the things on my To Do List with reckless abandon and reach nightfall exhausted but delighted by my progress. I love seeing things look the way I envisioned, or finishing something and knowing I don’t need to worry about it again for a while. I love escaping out from under the crushingly heavy Sisyphean boulder of responsibility that builds up every once in a while after a period of slacking (or, say, a particularly lazy holiday).

Considering that I LOATHE this feeling of having every chore ever invented hanging over my head, feel positively meh about actually doing them, and enjoy the feeling of having done them, you would think the obvious thing would be to get through them as quickly as possible. The adult, rational part of the brain would tell you that it is the only logical course of action. I know this.

So why am I still sitting here?

Wish me luck. If you have anything stronger than luck (bourbon?), send that too. If you have a way of tackling mammoth To Do Lists in a productive manner, let me know your secret. You can whisper it. You can even send it by smoke signal; I’ll keep one eye on the windows just in case.

I’ll be right here, tediously checking my way through a list as long as my arm.


*Seriously it’s getting out of control; I’m now taking iron because my iron stores are low, folic acid because a friend told me everyone should be taking it all the time, vitamin D because I rarely see the sun here, vitamin B12 for my skin and vitamin C and zinc to help absorb the iron. I was talking to a friend recently who said I should also be taking magnesium, but I really don’t think I can bring myself to take more than five tablets in a day unless there is a serious and pressing need…


  • Angela

    We are so alike! I have a suitcase full of clothes to wash that’s been sitting for a week now, it’s stressing me out but STILL I walk past it several times a day doing much less important chores like commenting on WordPress posts! Oh well, the sun is shining, the suitcase will still be there tomorrow…the sunshine most likely will not!

  • Dangerspouse

    Are your pill pushing friends doctors by any chance, or at least privy to your blood work results? And if not, are you prone to heeding medical advice from those sorts? Maybe you should add “Get a Physical and Be Sure I’m Not Wasting Money/Poisoning Myself” to the To Do List. That’s my advice as someone who pretends to be a doctor sometimes on the internet, anyway.

    Oh – and welcome back!

    • Quinn

      Hahaha don’t worry, I get my bloods done pretty regularly because I have high cholesterol/low iron! Thanks Dangerspouse, good to be back typing away!

  • bexoxo

    Let me begin this comment by stating the obvious: you only live once; the laundry can wait. With that out of the way, my best suggestion would be to put on some good tunes and crank it up while you tackle your list. Need to sweep? Use that handle like the mic stand that it really is. Need to scrub something? Scrub along to the beat and keep the brush/sponge far away from your face no matter the desire to use it as a microphone as well. I personally work well on a reward-based system. Wash all the windows… get a cookie and watch an episode of a show on Netflix. Wash and fold all the laundry… play with the puppers before starting the next task.

    But again, it’s not like the chores have an expiration date. Get out and enjoy the sun while you still can!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Quinn

      I do think my Disney Jams playlist will be useful in distracting me while I do the uglier tasks on the list! Just went for a walk with the dog (was on the list) so did get some of the sun on my face!

  • slateone

    Hi Quin,

    I’d agree with Dangerspouse. Check out at your Docs, he / she may not think those tabs are not going you any good. I had apse in my life where I took quite a supplements. Don’t use any now. Feel better than I have ever been.

    Chores, they can always wait another day.


  • slateone

    Take 2 – without typos:

    Hi Quinn,

    I’d agree with Dangerspouse. Check out at your Docs, he / she may not think those tabs are doing you any good. I had a time in my life where I took a few supplements. Don’t use any now. Feel better than I have ever been.

    The chores can always be done another day…

    • Quinn

      I’m not sure about the folic acid but I definitely need the iron and zinc – without them I turn into a napping human-shaped cat falling asleep in the middle of the day wherever I can be found…. it’s brutal!

  • ongypsiemountain

    This is me every day off I ever have! The struggle is real people, very real! I love being productive and I love getting stuff done, it’s just the actually getting around to doing it! Good Luck x

  • Eunice

    I may be wrong but I thought one only really needed to take folic acid if one was pregnant. If you’ve been prescribed various pills by doctors then fair enough, but as for the others they may not be doing you any good anyway so get rid of them.

    As for the chores? Get out and enjoy the good weather while you can, you can do the chores when it’s raining. Well that’s my philosophy anyway – I’ve a house which badly needs tidying but the weather here is currently too good to waste so I’ve been out walking with the dogs every day instead ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Quinn

      You guys are ENABLING my procrastination! ….But you’re not wrong, maybe I should just get outside and enjoy the sun! As for the vitamins… I may go check my levels again and then go from there! Maybe they’ve straightened out over the past couple of months! Thanks Eunice

  • voicesinmyhead336

    This post made me laugh at loud and then finally made me shove myself off the couch and go stare at my own to do list in fear because reading your blog was my procrastination this morningโ€ฆ
    I find that getting easy and quick things done always helps me get in to the rhythm of things for the bigger stuff so that being said I am going to put my socks on..
    oh and coffee. always coffee.
    Good luck!

  • zeckrombryan

    Wow… I have read through some of your posts, and they are really well written, especially the Facebook one (hahahahahahahahahah) and the anxiety one (very intricate and insightful), loving the style that you have in your writing, so peculiar. Hope to see more from you. Have hope, write on!

  • balletandboxing

    OH yes.

    I refuse to make lists anywhere other than at work, bc I refuse to adult anywhere other than at work. That attitude has resulted in some amazing adventures, and some terrible trainwrecks… but that is what work life balance is about, no? I am SUPER adulty at work, so I am allowed to have the maturity of a 9 year old the (small) rest of the time, right? right???

    Good luck.

  • med web

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