• personal,  so that happened

    Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

    Over the past few weeks I have found myself itching to write. I would set aside dates and times with the best of intentions, pencil them into my To Do Lists with a flourish, and then have them unceremoniously hijacked by other, more urgent and pressing matters. And so here we are. Six months into the year and I have a barren landscape of a blog behind me, untended and wild. All that’s missing is literary tumbleweed. It’s been a pretty busy year so far, actually. If I look behind me into that same barren wilderness of non-blogging, there are a few particularly notable bald patches where important events should…

  • personal,  Thoughts on...

    A Last First Kiss

      We had been sitting next to each other – awkwardly at first, then more comfortably – for about an hour. I could feel his thigh pressed against mine. When he moved his arm, I felt his sleeve brush against my sleeve. He made bad jokes and gave me lopsided smiles while I babbled non-stop in an effort to disguise my nerves. He took a phone call and unfolded himself from the couch to pace the room, so I moved┬áto the window to look out over the river. Even from across the room I felt like there were delicate filaments of feeling tying us together, vibrating with the low sound…

  • relationships,  settling down

    Settling Down

    There’s something about the term ‘settling down’ that makes me panic. What kind of a term is that? “Settle down.” It’s the kind of thing you say to people when they’re acting hysterically and won’t listen to reason. It’s what you say to a spooked horse, or a hyperactive child. Even on their own, neither of the words are particularly positive; ‘settling’ gives the impression that you begrudgingly wound up in a situation you’re not entirely happy with, and ‘down’ has a negative sort of connotation all of its own. Why can’t you ‘settle up’? It can be a bit frightening to think about spending a lifetime with one person.…