The Sugar Rush is Real

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So I meant to take a photo of my pancakes but then I got too excited and ate them too quickly and so instead you get a photo of an empty plate. 

Yesterday was Pancake Tuesday.

I’m not sure how widespread Pancake Tuesday is, but if it’s not a global holiday then it should be. If anything can unite us in this time of division and disharmony, it’s pancakes. I mean, talk about a food of the people. They can be adapted to suit everyone! If you don’t like the fluffy, thick American pancakes, you can go for paper-thin French crêpes. If you don’t like them sweet (YOU MONSTER), you can have them savoury.

Seriously, pancakes are multi-purpose. Who needs a penknife in their back pocket? Pack a pancake instead.

I ate a lot of pancakes yesterday. I had pancakes for breakfast. I had pancakes for dinner. I had pancakes for dessert. This morning I had another pancake, because I wasn’t ready to let go of my favourite maple syrup delivery system just yet. Truthfully, I still have some batter left so there’s a fairly decent chance I’ll be having a ham and cheese crêpe for lunch.

…And then I may have to actually join the gym because my body mass will be 85% pancake batter, and I’m sure that’s not recommended for general human-ing. If I were to have an accident right now (caused by my own clumisness, naturally), I suspect I would bleed maple syrup. I don’t feel like that’s a good thing. The emergency services probably don’t deal with that issue very often.

“What’s your blood type miss?”

“Well usually I’m O negative… but currently I’m maple syrup positive, if you know what I mean.”

“Now is not the time for jokes, miss. You could lose your leg.”

“That’s not a joke. I’m probably one pancake away from diabetes. TRANSFUSE ME!”

Anyway. I thought I’d share the recipe I use for crêpes (you can save it as an image) because it’s easy and then you can experience your own sugar-induced hyperactive zoomies. Or ham, cheese and egg goodness. I don’t judge.

Unless you put fruit on your pancake in which case…

Get out. Just get out.

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In hindsight, I realise that maybe I should have posted this on Friday. That may have made more sense. I wasn’t really in the full swing of pancake fever on Friday, though. Instead of seeing this as a pancake post that’s a day late, maybe see it as a pancake post that’s a year early. If you think about it, I’m just giving you a headstart so you can start practicing for next Pancake Tuesday

You will be SO READY.

*Except you know that song Cake By The Ocean? Does anyone else feel like there should definitely be a rule about that? I think it should be added to the signs at the beach; no dogs, no drinks, no cake. I keep thinking about the amount of sand that would get in the buttercream and how it would mix with the jam and stick to you everywhere and just… gritty cake sounds so deeply, deeply unpleasant that anytime that song comes on the radio my teeth clench in protest and now I’m off on a tangent again and oh my God how do I always end up here in the footnotes. Sorry. As you were.

Life Skill Unlocked: Millinery

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If you’ve never heard the word before, ‘millinery’ is the word for the art of making fancy hats and fascinators*.

I actually have never worn a fancy hat or fascinator. Not because I don’t like them – they can be pretty amazing – but because anything small and girlie makes me feel self-conscious and stupid, and anything wide-brimmed makes me look like a peculiarly flamboyant portobello mushroom.

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There I am on the left there

Still, as you know, I like to try my hand at new crafts, so when Emergency Sister invited me to join her for an afternoon of millinery at The Design House** on Dawson Street, I jumped at the opportunity.

I have not, in the past, had the best of luck with fabric-related crafts. As a general rule, unless there is a glue gun involved there is a chance that no two pieces will ever come together. The end result of my efforts is commonly a scrap pile of material marred with the sort of stitches you’d expect on Frankenstein’s monster, and bloody phalanges from repeatedly punching holes in my fingertips with the needle.

Essentially for this exercise I will need you to take the image you have in your mind’s eye of a Jane Austen lady quietly, delicately, elegantly sewing in the corner… and replace it with what you might expect to see after a rumpled, chaotic girl has spent hours attempting to remove her own fingerprints.

Thanks to my past experience with fabric, I went into the class with high excitement at the idea of learning a new skill and, at the same time, profoundly low expectations that I would actually leave with a finished piece. Thankfully, as soon as we arrived we were offered a glass of wine to encourage the creative process. In my opinion there is no situation wine cannot improve, and this was no exception. I definitely felt my confidence in my own abilities go up as steadily as the level of wine in my glass went down. There were five of us in the class, and after listening intently to our teacher Bebh, we all picked a colour and got to work.

Five hours, one steamed finger and countless needle-pricks later, I had a finished fascinator.

I even took a photo as proof.

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Proof.

So there you have it. Life skill unlocked! Perhaps not the most practical skill, but a skill nontheless. Now, thanks to the astonishing powers of Bebh and her excellent teaching, I can go forth and make many more fascinators in the future. Despite the fact that I probably stabbed my fingers more than I stabbed the sinamay, and it’s unlikely that I will ever wear my little creation, I had a really good time and would definitely recommend it. I didn’t use the glue gun once!

Also, as it turns out, I have the perfect (if slightly reluctant) model for my work:

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Don’t worry, she was paid for this modelling gig.

*If you have ever seen a woman at a wedding who you suspected had a startled bird perched precariously on the side of her head… She was probably wearing a fascinator.

*The Design House is located at 43 Dawson Street, Dublin and they teach a number of classes there. Not only that but you can also get clothes made from scratch, or buy any number of Irish crafts in their shop. Also there’s a cafe downstairs that makes delicious sandwiches (I tried them) and, apparently, heavenly cannolis (I have not yet tried them, but they’re on my list).