Hello

I carried a towering pile of items to the till and placed them on the belt.

“Hi!” said the cashier.

The friendly chirpiness in her voice was probably due to the fact that it was almost closing time, but that’s just a guess. I smiled and returned the greeting, and then focused all of my limited attention on placing the heavy items at the front of the pile so I could bag them the proper way.

Little known fact, but that’s actually what adulting is all about; trying not to smoosh the brie beneath tins of tomatoes. True fact.

The cashier made a comment about the weather, and my friend smiled and agreed while I expertly separated the items in order of weight. I dropped the cartons of milk into the bottom of the bag, followed by the tins of tomatoes and the packet of pasta. I eyed the brie and broccoli as the cashier scanned it through. I was determined to absolutely nail this bagging business.

As an unrelated aside – it’s amazing the things you can trick your mind into thinking are little victories when the going gets tough.

Five minutes later, everything was carefully bagged and paid for. The cashier handed me the receipt. She smiled warmly and said, “Have a good evening now!” to which I naturally replied…

“Hello.”

Not an ‘oh hello, didn’t see you there’ type of hello.

Not a nice, friendly, ‘Hello!!’

Just a flat, short, “Hello” in the same tone you would use if you were to automatically mutter, “Thanks” to a cashier who had just handed you a receipt.

…Which is what I was aiming for when my mind panicked and “Hello” popped out instead.

Cue an awkward pause as the cashier narrowed her eyes at me, probably trying to determine if I had some form of short-term amnesia. I grabbed the bag, turned on my heel and walked right out of the shop while screaming internally.

All this to say that today is my one year blogiversary. I know this because WordPress sent me a little notification to remind me. Thanks WordPress! One year on and I am still having awkward interactions with strangers. One year on and I am still embarrassing myself so you don’t have to. One year on and I am still waiting on that damn manual.

But in the meantime, I’ve got you guys to keep me company.

Hello!

 

26 comments
  1. It’s already been a year since you first started letting us laugh at your social ineptitudes? Thanks! Er, I mean, hello!

  2. Hello for sharing … I mean thanks for sharing. Maybe the cashier rightly suspected you were fiendishly plotting to lull her from her cheery auomatic for the people faux cheeriness … and had succeeded?

  3. I’ve loved reading your posts for the last year and I hope (like really, really hope) they continue to pop up in my inbox, it always makes me smile!

    I do this often too, you’re not alone!

  4. Haha! Hello……. I mean congratulations!

  5. Oh the paradox of depression, craving solitude and feeling simultaneously overwhelmed by loneliness. Maybe cheese will make it better.

    1. Okay.

  6. This reminds me of the time in Paris when a Parisian said ‘merci’ and I responded with ‘denada.’ As a woman though, aren’t we told to leave them guessing…? We seem to excel at that particular life lesson!

    And happy anniversary! I’m so glad our interweb paths crossed. I adore your blog and your blogging friendship. πŸ˜„

    1. Hahaha considering how much French people hate it when you don’t even try to speak French, and how much rivalry there is between France and Spain, she probably thought you did it on purpose!

      And I’m glad too, it’s been a good year! I’ve met GREAT people! πŸ˜€

  7. Though you wouldn’t necessarily believe me after reading some of my blogs or meeting me in person, I am rather shy. As a result, when I approach clerks with a question, I practice it over in my head a couple of times. As you can imagine, it can come out badly jumbled sometimes.

    1. I do this! Especially over the phone. I’m the worst with phone calls – I don’t know why I feel nervous about it considering I’ve made many many hundreds of phone calls in my life…. AND YET!

  8. Have a nice one πŸ˜•

    1. πŸ™‚

  9. One year on and I am and still enjoying your adventures in adulting!

    1. Hahaha I’m glad! Thanks Frazier! Happy new year to you!

  10. Your post made me laugh and brightened up a dull day – hello! I mean thanks! πŸ™‚ Happy Blogiversary πŸ™‚

    1. Haha I’m glad Eunice! Thanks for reading!

  11. oooh I hate that! I say especially awkward shit in Spanish. Like, I know what it means, but my brain takes longer to catch up than in English…

  12. HORAY! Congrats! I am so happy that you started this little gem – it brings me immense joy & chuckles <3 Here’s to another fab year with you!

    1. And to you and your AWESOME accomplishments! <3

  13. Congrats Quinn and happy anniversary! You had me at hello 😊 Awesome writing once again .

    1. Hahaha thank you! πŸ™‚

  14. That was very tourettes like of you. Happy blogversary.

    1. Hahaha thanks. Sometimes my brain just doesn’t QUITE link up to my mouth….

  15. Hi. I’ve nominated you for the Blogger Recognition Award. See my post at:
    https://therealrealityshowblog.wordpress.com/2018/01/15/blogger-recognition-award/

    1. Oh thank you! πŸ˜€ What a nice way to start the year!

  16. Happy one year of sharing your awkward interactions with strangers! If you ever find the manual, please share…

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