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AH. Yum. Yum.

mogwai_gremlins_gizmo_plush_neca

You know that ad with the tagline, “You’re not you when you’re hungry”? It’s a Snickers ad, I think. They main character has been acting irrationally, but thanks to the healing power of chocolate they shapeshift back to themselves after a single bite of a Snickers. You know the one? I identify strongly with that ad, only for me it’s, “You’re not you when you’re tired.”

I am not me when I am tired.

I become something else entirely, something strongly resembling a mogwai who has been fed after midnight, put under a spotlight and doused with a fireman’s hose for good measure. I become a gremlin.

My face scrunches up in displeasure, a stubborn frown settles on my face, and I start plotting the imminent accidentally-on-purpose demise of anyone or anything making the fatal mistake of annoying me. This can include:

  • People with grating accents (specifically, rowdy hen/stag parties with grating accents; ie the hens and stags from Manchester – sorry Mancunians – that were on my flight to Dublin)
  • Crying babies
  • Anybody eating an egg sandwich in a public place
  • Anybody who stops in a doorway for no visible reason
  • People who block a footpath by walking at a glacial pace while you’re in a hurry
  • People who wait until all their items have been scanned at the till before patting their pockets for their wallet
  • When my laptop freezes
  • When I can’t find the end of the sellotape
  • Buffering
  • Sales assistants that descend on you the moment you enter the shop
  • Umbrellas (I don’t trust them. They’re spiky and sinister looking)

On a regular day, none of these things annoy me. None of these things could be described as anything more than mildly infuriating. On a normal day, if my laptop freezes I take the opportunity to go make myself another cup of tea. On a normal day I feel bad for crying babies, and when someone blocks the footpath I remind myself that I’m not in a rush, and sure what harm in slowing down myself?

But, mis amigos, on a tired day, each of these annoyances make my face crumple and scrunch until you can barely make out any facial features. If multiple annoyances attack me when I am tired I go beyond gremlin status and basically become an angry human scribble.

Today, I am so tired. I am so tired that I have run myself into the ground. My body put up no defence at all against the inevitable long-haul flight germs and now I am sick. I have had no time to nap and no time to wind down, and I am shattered into smithereens. I feel like a sliver of my usual self. I feel like Mr. Potatohead in Toy Story 3 when he becomes Mr. Tortillawraphead. I am wafting about with limited self control.

Luckily, there have been no annoyances in the last two days. The situation is not as dire as it could be. You can still – just about – see my eyes if you manage to look past the dark circles beneath them. I’m hoping to sleep myself practically comatose tonight, and be back to myself by Wednesday.

If I’m not better by then, can one of you come and put this Gremlin in a blender please?

Thanks in advance!

0 thoughts on “AH. Yum. Yum.

  1. Ah sleep deprivation is a b*tch! Apparently you can survive longer without water than you can without sleep. Hope you are back to being cute and cuddly after a good nights sleep!!

  2. When I am tired and grouchy, the things that bother me the most are empty bottles or cans rolling around the bus, music leaking from people’s headphones, people elbowing me when they are texting next to me, and people’s backpacks getting close to hitting me.

  3. I don’t know, I mean, it might be really cool to hear from you 3 days from now with a post about how you were thrown into a jail cell to “rest it off” after having tackled someone at the checkout counter for not having their wallet ready. Just a thought… think about it.

    1. Buffering is the WORST! Especially when it buffers, then plays for two minutes, then buffers, then plays for two minutes, then buffers….. etc etc

  4. I read this on a train on my First day back after a long weekend – morning commute in London. This writing really hit the spot!

  5. I used to be like that but it was combination of tired and stress.
    I remember one time I had a bad day at the office. After finish work, I went to grocery store. Just want to buy some snack and water.
    While in line, in front me there is a guy, he buying plenty of stuff, out of kindness he said I paid for my stuff first because it just a few.
    I don’t know what I was thinking, I just said “It’s fine, go ahead I’m not really in mood for kindness”
    So he did.
    When I return home, while taking a shower, I just realise what actual fuck I just said.
    It really got me thinking “that not who a I am, or is it? Am I that awful of person?”
    One thing that help me change myself is a speech by David Foster Wallace, “This is water”
    Even how stressed or tired I am, I will not let it determine how I behave or else it become who I am.

    1. I love that ‘this is water’ speech. It’s such a good one to keep in mind! I bottle up all my annoyances when I’m tired so nobody else really sees anything other than my cranky facial expression, but I know exactly how that feels! Keep doing you, you sound like you’re doing great!

  6. The best way to get over jet lag is to ensure you eat all your meals at the correct time (including breakfast), stay hydrated, and go to bed at a sensible time.

    You can also apply these rules to being an adult, but that’s strictly optional.

  7. I too posted yesterday about my dislike of Manchester. Sure, yours is about the people, but it’s closed enough for me to relate them! 😀

    I have resting bitch face normally, and when I get tired, I’ve been told that I look like I have the power of instant combustibility just by looking at someone, which comes in handy; most people stay far, far away.

    Hope you get all the rest you need and chocolate… chocolate sounds warranted.

  8. I know the feeling! I will probably be right there with you by the end of this week. We are loaded up with baseball back to back to back to back this week, among other end of the school year shenanigans. I am tired just thinking about it. Get some rest!!

      1. Never ever? Oh my, baseball is one of my favorites! Well it depends on what type of league you are watching. The major leagues have 9 innings and last about 2 hours or so. My son plays tee-ball and his games are an hour and so much fun to watch!

        This week we have already had practice, then we will have a game on thursday night and friday night, then we have all day tournaments on saturday and sunday and we will play as many games as we win, with a minimum of 3 in the brackets. It will be a loooong four days.

          1. Tee-ball is for 4 year olds and 5 year olds. lol It is comical to say the least, but so fun to watch! You don’t even realize an hour has gone by when it’s all said and done.

  9. Hahaha… there’s a lot to be said and had by solitude, silence, stillness, and soul-searching sometimes, huh? I know I must make time for semi-nothingness to recharge. 😉

    Hope you are back to 100% very soon Quinn! <3

  10. Ha! I was in the queue at the market yesterday and a woman wrote a check for her groceries! The cashier didn’t know what to do. The store manager had to be called in. Questions were bantered back and forth. People behind her were darting for other queues. It was a mess. Sadly, I had no place to be, so I stuck it out. In case you are wondering: I did make it out before total anarchy erupted.

  11. Hope you get some good sleep and feel well rested soon. I am terrible when I am tired…you could tell me the most exciting news about something that really matters to me and I’ll just be like ‘tell me tomorrow’…

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